stark raving

i've been pondering over something a lot recently...i've been wondering whether i'm absolutely insane and nobody wants to tell me? are they afraid? do they fear they'll be eaten (in the manner of psychotic homeless man face-eater)? or, worse yet: do they think i know, so there's no point in stating the obvious?

there is some evidence, so i'm not just creating a fire where there is no smoke:
1: there is madness in our family. trust me on this.
2: a curious incident occured recently when my son mentioned going to boarding school in the presence of a local psychologist, after which she urged me to send him as 'she knows other mad mothers whose children have thrived at boarding school'
3: i suspect my thought patterns are abnormal. i don't know though, because i haven't spent a day inside someone else's subconcious.
4. i have irrational thoughts, such as meat cleavers falling from the sky
5. i once scrubbed my bathroom tiles with a toothbrush, until dawn
6. there are plenty of other examples, but i'd like to get to know you a little better first

i'll tell you what i haven't done:
1. keyed an ex-lover's car
2. tried to get him back by faking a pregnancy
3. tried to get him back by fake dying
4. actually getting pregnant to get him back
5. actually died trying to get him back

so there you have it. i will expound on this subject in my blog musings many times over the course of the next few weeks and months.

i was here.
no i wasn't
yes i was
shut up, the lot of you!